World Famous In San Francisco

photo by Dan Hooper

Last night was the record release party for the Vaticans new CD and I only have 2 complaints so I'll get 'em out of the way now. First of all the debut full length is called "Guardia Svizzera Pontificia" and even though I'm Italian I can't pronounce it. (It refers to the Swiss Guards at Vatican City, who happen to dress pretty ridiculously so I can see why they decided on this for an album title and who cares what I think or can or cannot pronounce anyway!)

Second complaint, no vinyl! (The CD is great and it feels like a classic that has been in my collection forever, I want my Vaticans vinyl! ) O.K. enough complaining, I was thinking about it on my way home from the show last night. The Vaticans are like my brothers and sisters in rock & roll. Like my band Hard Place, they have been around for awhile, after two singles they are just now releasing a full-length (after an EP and gazillions of CD-R's Hard Place full length debut coming soon), both bands have had very popular and influential members leave the band, both bands replaced said departing members with super hot super talented women and both bands are still rocking. Yay!

However the flip side to this is that both bands have sounds that not all listeners will gravitate towards. With Hard Place often pigeon holed as 80's derivitives, the Vaticans wear their Nuggets on their sleeves and the 60's garage sound is not for everyone. So what! most all popular music is really annoying, "Guardia Svizzera Pontificia" (there, I said it!), recorded by Tim Green sounds great and boldly goes where the Vaticans have never gone before. Highlights include the sultry "Venus Fly Trap", "Little Boy Blue" with it's trippy jingle jangle interlude sandwiched between an awesome heavy riff, and the undeniably classic hidden track "We Luv U Eddy" is girl group pop at it's finest (listening to the song is like meeting this Eddy character, whoever he is!). I saw on the Vaticans MySpace page that the legendary vocalist Mary Weiss of the Shangri-Las' wrote to tell them she digs their cover of Out In The Streets, I myself would like to hear Mary cover some Vaticans. There are some fine songs here.

I hope this new release out now on the Pure Filth label gives the Vaticans a passport/upgrade to performing at better venues. The power of this band live has yet to be fully realized for me. I want to see them perform at a venue where the singers can hear themselves sing, where one of the best rhythm sections in town gets pumped through a huge house P.A. and where the guitar, well Danyka Kosturak's guitar sound, with it's tasteful periodic tremelo, is always the bomb.
The Vaticans

Last Holiday Season Ashley Huizenga, Freddy Christy and the rest of the Hard Place gang decided to make a video Christmas Card as a thank you to friends and fans. Once posted on YouTube, the clip somehow generated over 55,000 hits.

For a harmless little video, most of the comments were extremely negative and surprisingly hostile! Here's a sample of the most amusing;

.......Americans see this and think "Europeans are stupid"
Europeans see US presidential elections/iraq war/reports on obesity and gun crime and think "Americans are stupid"......

......Yeah, because the US is the first country to attack another with little/no provocation...oh wait, wasn't that England? or Germany? or France? or Spain? or Portugal? So many colonies and conquests..I can't keep track anymore!......

.....Fuck americans and their shitty music.....

.....A cross between A Clockwork Orange, The Arcade Fire (if they sucked) and a massive, massive acid trip.....

.....Just...Wow. Thankyou b3ta. Definitely American, you can't hide the knucklehead accent (much as they're trying). As for you pwnednoob, European conquesting stopped about a hundred years ago, whereas the "Land of the Free" that remains prejudiced against African Americans and shot peaceful protesters in the 60's seems to be getting a taste for imperialism......

O.K. Enough with the negative comments. Can you believe that shit? However, other people liked it and were amused by XXX-MAS Kitten. I found this on You Tube today so for all you haters, here's proof that XXX-Mas Kitten spreads joy around the world:



For those of you who haven't seen the original, you can do so here.

XXX-Mas Kitten

Best of all time? Myles knows how to set the bar for a new feature. Whatevs, I think this song by myspace of the week alumni The Units is pretty great. Mission is a humorous ode to, you guessed it, the mission: burritos, marijuana, the ...um... fashion, and humongous boom boxes. Its the closest thing to a party song on the album, and the chorus makes me smirk every time I hear it "The Mission is bitchin'!/Mission I don't take no ^%::&++!/Alright!" (note, that's the band censoring itself). Honestly, the mission hasn't changed too much in the twenty seven years that have passed from since the release of Digital Stimulation on 415 records.

Thursday night at the eagle tavern is one of my favorite nights in the city. Doug Hilsinger throws a curve ball at the local leather queens by inviting some pretty awesome bands to share the bar. Actually, the leather queens handle it just fine, its all the regualar queens who don't know what to make of it.

Last night speed queen and ex-boyfriends and a tribute to THE GERALDINE FIBBERS helped kick off folsom street fair weekend confusing queens world wide. I got there late and only got photos of ex-boyfriends. Look!






see more here!

It was the my fair lady beyond thunderdome party. Come on San Francisco, you're not carrying your weight in the theme party department!





see more here!

We really need to get back on the ball with this, but Thursday is still part of the week so its not too late!



Anyway, this week its super nice guy, the actually kinda world famous Safety Scissors. His last record for ~scape (the label run in part by minimalist glitch dub mastermind Pole) is full of cute electronic pop songs and despite that ended up being one of the more enjoyable records for me that year due to all of the psychedelic flourishes repeated headphone listening yielded. Neat!

http://www.myspace.com/safetyscissorsmusic

photo by Damani Moyd

Gangsta Queen grew up in Las Vegas and now lives in Los Angeles. Supposedly she worked at Circus Circus as a clown, but was fired for wearing too much make up. When I saw Gangsta Queen live, she totally rocked the party. I loved her. I was excited to get home and listen to some of her songs on MySpace... but was a bit disapointed when I didn't recognize my favorite song from her set. Luckily today she posted it. It's called Spoonful of Gangsta. And it's kind of perfect. It's silly but delivered in a really whiney way. It could be the worst song in the world, but for some reason it works. Maybe its because of great lines like "If you wanna be my man, take me to Disney Land" and "I do my thing, but I don't do dishes." Or maybe it's the ridicolous smooth jam drum beat coupled with the West Coast high pitched synth. Who knows.
- - -
But for the most part - queer rap totally blows. Sorry guys. I've had my eye on it for a while. I could only get behind one artist, Foxxjazell, on the traveling "homohop" festival Homo Revolution Tour 2007.

Get On the Grind by Foxxjazell

- - -
Now, I don't wanna be negative, but since this IS a San Francisco music blog, I feel incline to talk about San Francisco's JFP (Julie Fuckin' Potter) - who was also on the Homo Revolution Tour. I don't want to hate, but I really dont like JFP. To give her credit: she has one okay song, Server Homies, which is about working in a restaurant. But most of the JFP songs only serve to assert her machismo and fake accent - in a preachy but not-to-be-taken-seriously kind of way.

My girl Keyshia came out with an album today. Guests on Just Like You include Diddy, Missy Elliot, Lil Kim and Oakland's own Too $hort. If only a Bay Area inde band could have such a huge, interest generating record. I recommend reading this excellent writeup by Johnny Ray Huston on Keyshia.

Here are a few tracks you can sample:

Same Thing (Interlude)


Let It Go feat. Missy Elliot and Lil Kim

My dear friend Renier sent me this riddle. This table is on eBay right now, if you'd like to buy it. MAN OR NOT? If you have any guesses, post them in the comments!

Vice magazine, the free hipster bible from New York, reviewed Two Gallants' self titled record out Tuesday on Saddle Creek. They gave it a good review, which surprises me because Two Gallants just did this huge tour with Les Claypool.


If you're a rich gay Asian, San Francisco is mecca. If you're anyone else, it's a smoldering cesspool of dinks, douches, and other assorted wieners pretending to enjoy third-rate living at first-rate prices. But just like gold rises to the top in a bowl of shit (I made that up), Two gallants have emerged from the mess and continue, with this, their third LP, to blow all the other current drum-guitar combos out of the water. That's right - all of them. JIM RICE

Do you think they're right about San Francisco?

I have to say, I can't completely get behind Two Gallants. I don't really like jam bands, and I don't like over emotive post-Modest Mouse singing. And they're kind of both. I don't really know where this kind of singing started. I've never been interested in those bands. Could someone clue me in? It reminds me of the post-Eddie Vedder singing... where everyone adopted this weird twang in their voice. You still hear it today sometimes. Ew.

I do respect Two Gallants hustle. They're totally cool in my book. Check out their impressive past show history. It doesn't even seem comprehensive, the show I did with them isn't even listed!

Watch this video that pokes fun at the whole hipster/Vice/American Apparel generation, if you haven't seen it already:

Park(ing) Day?? Hippy San Francisco bullshit or kinda cool? At first I thought hippy bullshit. Then I thought cool, World Famous should have done one and had good bands play, but then I saw laughing squid was all into it and I'm convinced they're all burning man hippy bullshit. So, really, I just don't know. Comments?

Here's some photos of the 'park' outside of Ritual Roasters (photos by Scott Beale / Laughing Squid). Kelly Stoltz was spotted lounging on the lawn, so we know how he feels at least (I've always suspected him of being hippy dippy).

Is Fuzz really that different than MySpace? Both are social networking sites, both are record labels, and both have apparently signed the same talent.

MySpace.com's Mickey Avalon

Fuzz.com's Scott Blonde of The Lovemakers

I think MySpace and Fuzz signed these guys because they 'look like rock stars.' That's why they are each label's flagship talent. What's with Internet labels signing skinny white guys with belly shirts and boot cut jeans? Puh leeze bootcut jeans are totally out. Britney already mastered that - so back off Britney. The fact that the Lovemakers were signed WAY after Mickey Avalon kind of makes Scott Blonde a Payless ShoeSource of a talent, which I am sure he is not entirely.

Fuzz, seriously guys, work in partnership with other labels. Don't try to be a pop factory like American Idol or something. It's not gonna work. How are you guys really that different if you look the same?

In our new series, World Famous In San Franciso will educate you about what the best San Francisco songs of all time are. Our choices are not up for debate. They are the truth, they are fact.

Myles: One of my favorite songs of all time is "Just Like a Baby" by Sly & The Family Stone of their 1971 album "There's a Riot Goin' On." This song is completely virtuosic at being a diamond in the rough. Anyway, I don't really need to explain why this song is so good, just listen.

Speaking of fuzz.com, elton tom had a good idea for a new feature which I'm going to steal from him: Myspace of the Weak. So on top of our weekly myspace page highlighting something about San Francisco we love we're going to occasionally throw one out there that highlights something we think is kinda, um, lame.

Sadly, we kinda think fuzz is kinda lame. The idea sounds like it has potential -- a service which focuses its efforts on giving local/independent artists the tools to manage their own promotion and distribution, potentially allowing them to get their music heard on the same level as music with a big industry push behind it (speaking of, how does somebody like Fall Out Boy get a big industry push???). But it seems, in practice, that fuzz is only interested in:

• pushing bands which already sound like the stuff with a big industry push behind it (First Release? The Lovemakers who unabashedly say they want to make corparate rock and make it big in corporate rock). Whats the uprising again?
• becoming the new myspace. witness:
  

Which brings me back to the point of this posting. Where did I find that image?
http://www.myspace.com/fuzzmusicuprising
On their page they ask bands to post that image as their main image and come on over to fuzz. I haven't seen that image popping up though, not even on The Lovemakers myspace page.

edit, 9/20: After I posted this I was thinking I should have said a little more about fuzz other than "They don't like the music I like and they have a myspace page!". I was thinking I should have said "They don't promote music I like or a new musical viewpoint, they have a myspace page, and the site is hard to use and the tone they take with the end user (kinda 'cool'/disaffected) is a bit offputting" and then followed it up with "Maybe its time to try a different approach". This morning there was an email from the fuzz team promising big improvements -- so maybe they are going to try something new. Thats cool, I'm looking forward to it. Really! I think the fuzz.com idea is neat. But I bet the goat hasn't gotten better taste in music, so nyah!

Damn people, just leave it in the ground. I don't know why everybody has to reunite all the time and make us deal with your old music when there's (supposedly) new music that should be being heard. I won't get into who was good or who wasn't good becuase when I take stock of how many of these reunion shows I've been to I realize I have no business complaining. Not that that ever stops me!

Crime, legendary San Francisco punks, reunites in their own difficult way this friday for a record release party celebrating their new, vinyl only, album, Exalted Masters. Thats right, vinyl only. How's that for a music uprising, fuzz?

If you couldnt' tell from what I wrote above, I'll be there. I've always really liked Crime -- ever since I realized they wrote my favorite song on one of my favorite Sonic Youth albums. (Sister, duh. Read the liners!) That or maybe I just like a guy in a cop uniform, I do respond to authority.

September 21, 7PM
SF Amoeba

Come!
I'm going!
The Passionistas are going with their new drummer!
The Real Janelles are going and they better be as fun as the songs on their myspace page or there's gonna be a fight. What? I can throw down!

BOOOOOO! WFISF hates Sean Kingston


Sean Kingston - Me Love


BARF! This new song falls into that disgusting Disney/Smash Mouth/Nickelodeon/Shrek-music category of total suckage. This song will never be ironic, funny, kitchy or fun EVER. Total pop pollution!

So far I completely hate Sean Kingston's career. Both of his singles are about being dumped. I have no sympathy for the guy, I'd dump him too! This seventeen year old Floridian mama's boy needs to lose the Jamaican accent.

I love pop music, it's sad to see stuff like this become so popular. I need a lobotomy!

The craziest, most kick ass bicycle team in San Francisco. These guys stage illegal cyclo-cross races all over the city. They will never post when and where, it's always word of mouth but whatever, we salute team DFL!

team dFl

If it wasn't for the 50 and Kayne thing, this would get a lot more attention.

Let me just start out by saying this: I never chose to like rap, the same way I never chose to like old, fat queens. I YAM WHAT I YAM. As both a rap fan and gay man (hey that rhymes), I've learned to take rapper's lyrics and interviews with a grain of salt. I've heard Keith Boykin liken hip hop to a megaphone, explaining that hip hop is a homophobic because society is homophobic. I agree - and wholeheartedly believe that art should be as much about ugliness as about beauty. K?

So when a rapper starts spouting off about faggotry my ears (maybe some other things too) perk up a little. But let's get this straight (or gay maybe), I haven't gone out of my way to find out which rappers are gay (a rumored many), and I don't really care to know. I do get crushes on rappers from time to time. One of them is Pimp C.

I have this little homophobia test. I try to befriend all the rappers I like on MySpace. Before you read the interviews, let me state for fact that Pimp C approved my MySpace request for friendship! Most rappers have turned me down, including Cam'ron (no surprise with his whole "no homo" campaign), Lil Wayne (bummed about this one) and Rick Ross (hot and probably gay). Let me say this, to whoever is googling this in the bloggosphere, I do not think Pimp C is gay. He has a wife and two kids, and let's leave it at that.   


In an interview with Bonsu Thomson

You’ve conducted some interviews recently that expressed some pretty offensive opinions, but you only apologized for your “Atlanta ain’t the South” statement. Any other apologies you wanna make?
Let me say this: That statement about Russell Simmons had nothing to do with his sexual orientation. It had more to do with a disagreement [we had]. I don’t know if the man likes Martians, squirrels or whatever, so I ain’t gonna speak on something that I didn’t see. It’s no gay-bashing with me. It’s just, be proud of what you are, instead of hidin’ in the closet. And if ya fuck boys in the ass, then don’t be tryna fuck with the girls, too, poisoning the pussy population wit’ ya shitty ol’ dirty-ass dick.

So Pimp C is not a gay-basher?
I’m not a gay-basher, because gay people buy my records. Why would I be offended by your sexual preference, unless I’m in the closet? If ya like boys, go get all the boys ya want. And whatever you did that you ashamed of, don’t do it no more.

Do you ever feel any compassion for Bun B, for being in a group with a man like yourself, who is unfiltered and can be bullheaded in his ways?
You been programmed to think I’m bullheaded. I just know what the fuck goin’ on. I know who’s a faggot, I know who lettin’ them girls fuck ’em in the ass with them dildos, I know who really sold dope, I know who didn’t. I be in Houston. The only nigga I see [in Houston] goin’ to the mall by himself is Slim Thug. Other niggas, when I see ’em, they got bodyguards around ’em. How you gonna be scared of the neighborhood you supposed to be reppin’? All them [Houston rappers] that think they stars, guess what, bitch? Ain’t no stars down here. Only stars is in the muthafuckin’ sky!


In an interview with "R.E." for the August issue of Ozone

Pimp C on fashion: “Young ass niggas that used to be wearing gangsta clothes wearing v-neck sweaters and Argyle socks looking like Pharrell. Are you niggas metrosexual or homosexual or what? You’ve got plenty of pictures of these niggas dressing funny. Nigga, you ain’t Fonsworth Bentley, bitch! You ain’t Pharrell, nigga!”
R.E.’s Reaction: (LMAO).

Pimp C on being pretty: “Get your finger out your ass and get off that old-pussy-ass sexy ass shit. All these niggas think they’re sexy. Man, keep your damn shirt on. You ain’t 50 Cent nigga. And for the record, most of you niggas are ugly and if I take the makeup off your bitch, my skin is prettier than all your hoes’ skin. My skin is pretty. My toes are pretty. I’m a young funky wild boy and I’m a sexy young muthafucker.”
R.E.’s Reaction: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Pimp C on Ne-Yo: “I ain’t out here dressing up trying to be sexy licking my lips like old gay ass Ne-Yo. Licking lips and shit, nigga. Pussy dick in the booty ass nigga wearing all that gotdamn lip gloss at their video shoots and letting niggas put makeup on their face. Yeah, I said Ne-Yo, you heard what the fuck I said. Niggas putting all that lip gloss on they fuckin’ lips looking like they’ve just been eating a pork chop sandwich with no hands.”
R.E.’s Reaction: “Yo, this nucca is buggin’…(lmao).”

Pimp C is the guy (not the bride) in all white.

from SF Gate 9/14

A federal judge in San Francisco has overturned the murder conviction of a man who was caught up in a cult conspiracy known as Pendragon for a paramilitary takeover of Marin County in 1982.
U.S. Magistrate Judge James Larson said Crossan Hoover, 42, did not receive a fair trial in Marin County Superior Court in 1984 when he was convicted of murdering antique car restorer Richard Baldwin, 39, of San Rafael, by hitting him with a baseball bat on July 6, 1982.
Hoover was 17 at the time and worked for contractor Mark Richards, who promoted a plan in meetings with his teenage employees to take over Marin County by destroying the Golden Gate and Richmond-San Rafael bridges and placing a laser gun on top of Mount Tamalpais.
The plot was aimed at creating a modern-day Camelot with Richards as King Arthur and his workers as knights, according to descriptions in court rulings on the case.
Hoover was sentenced to 25 years to life in prison. He appealed with a habeas corpus petition in federal court in 1999 after losing appeals in the state court system.
Larson said in a Sept. 7 decision that the trial judge gave an incorrect jury instruction on sanity and the prosecutor caused a psychiatric expert to give distorted testimony by failing to tell the psychiatrist about the Pendragon plot and other factors that supported Hoover's claim of temporary insanity.
Larson ordered that Hoover be released in 60 days unless prosecutors seek a new trial.
Richards was convicted of first-degree murder in a separate trial and sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.

Phots by Aaron Miller, taken from cameraphonic.

Cryptacize is an awesome band. Their name suggests a mix between Jazzercize and the Crypt Keeper. I'm not sure what they sound like, so I'm not going to make anything up. I am also not attempting to write their wikipedia entry, but I would like to explain where they come from. If I get anything wrong you can bitch about it in the comments.

Chris Cohen and Nedelle Torrisi were in the Curtains together before Cryptacize. Before that, Chris was a member of Deerhoof. Nedelle is a solo artist and has an awesome new record on Tangram 7s called "The Locksmith Cometh." Before her most recent album, she put out an awesome one called "From the Lion's Mouth" on Kill Rock Stars. Nedelle and Chris, as their MySpace explains, met Michael Carreira by way of YouTube. They watched the video below of Michael playing the cowbell, and after they all met in-person, they decided to start Cryptacize. Charming isn't it?

Cryptacize is playing Thursday at Edinburgh Castle. They will be surrounded by over one hundred balloons. Come out to see them.

My hilarious (and super straight) childhood friend recently wrote me about life on the road. I don't know about you, but I think this blog is getting too faggy. So this is to balance it out. Enjoy!

"tour was the shit! we'd wake up at a myspace fan's house at 10am and bounce to the next city. get there at 1pm, print flyers at kinko's, go to the mall and promote and meet chicks (sometimes we'd even bring hotties straight from mall to show!). we booked all the shows and picked the bands so all the bands kinda kissed up to us - plus we're sponsored by (brand omitted) energy drinks w/ 36 freaking cases to drink / hand out so we made lots of friends and we seemed like a major band. we met some pretty sick touring bands, drank a lot of booze, made lots of new fans, got in w/ cool venues and bookers (which i can hook you up with if you plan to go on tour), and i got lots of action from hot girly fans.

when we shoved off we were given $300 cash from (brand omitted), a surf clothing company. We spent that on gas and brought in about $60 / show on average. We played 12 shows in 14 days and at the end of it, we were very happy to break even. our singer is so pessimistic though, we had to kick him out. he's also not good enough to act like a jerk but he thinks he's great so we're picking up someone younger, better looking and better at singing b/c we're trying to make it big!"

But it was a totally fun toga party. Pictures!





See more on flickr

No matter where I am in life, questions about what to do next always surface. As a musician, I spent the first part of my life asking myself everything from "how do I tune my guitar" to "if I tried singing, would everyone laugh at me?"

Although those days are over, I still feel as clueless as when I started. Although the "how do I" questions are less personal, they threaten my 'success' more than ever. I had an idea yesterday to write all these questions down... and after doing so I decided to post them here on WFISF... as a sort of Internet experiment. Perhaps some questions will be answered! I'm sure some of my fellow music makers will appreciate this discussion... if they're okay with "selling out" of course.


1 How does a local artist open for a major act at a Clear Channel venue - say the Warfield, Fillmore or Bimbo's?

2 How do you get asked to support a touring act without knowing the band or label directly?

3 How do you tour at the "inde" level without loosing money?

4 How do you attract, trap and keep a good booking agent?

5 How do you get written about by Pitchfork Media?

6 How do you get your music on a "modern rock" station, like Live 105?

7 Who are these music festival promoters and how do I meet them?

8 Why isn't the punk circuit supportive and why is it impossible to break into? I mean, come on!

9 How do you get club night promoters to return emails?

10 How do you get support from 'arts organizations' in San Francisco? Why don't they return emails or phone calls? And why do they pretend like you're not talking to them when you approach them at one of their two buck chuck events?

- and if you know some answers, post them in the comments! Thanks! -

R.I.P.

ROCKPILE!!! every 2nd and 4th Sunday 93.7FM at 2 p.m.
www.westaddradio.com!
Jeremy Smears and I caught this radio show waiting in the car for chicken wings and deeep dish pizza, we heard Rockpile and other cool stuff like Wreckless Eric, little did we know that this is Sgt. Party's radio show!

Check it out!

Last night I was going to go to An Undisclosed Location to catch T.I.T.S. and Fuckwolf but I didn't make it because I fell asleep waiting for friends to call but I guess they had actually called but my phone wasn't working right. Technology is awesome, what did we do before mobile phones?

Anyway, that was a Colossal Cluster and I want to go to a show now. So Tuesday, at the Hemlock, a Colossal Good Time with:

Colossal Yes
The Mantles
Devon Williams

Yay!